Consent to Treatment Song Lyrics

Other Albums

01. Retarded Disfigured Clown

Learning to love life
By living through loss and mistakes
Lessons learned
Then gradually surfacing
Letting go, stripping naked to scream
I am not perfect, nor do I strive to be
I am alive in this world of face-first falls and public breakdowns
I’m a retarded, disfigured clown
Dying to be heard for the simple art of letting this heavy wall finally fall
I’m an equal being of no race or color
A hallucination if you will
Sneaking into the lives of strangers and letting them fall apart
To a new rhythm, just to feel better

02. Independently Happy

I feel that it’s hard enough to say good-bye.
I feel there’s the water. Should I sink or dive?
An empty plate, fill up my sentimental morning star.
I steal the art of putting truth in a lie.
I still want the girl that really caught my eye.
But, she lives in Oklahoma City, far away from me.
An empty hope chest.
Quit the dope quest,
And remain independently happy

I’m finally happy…happy… independently happy…

I deal with the fact that I’ve forgiven the worst.
I feel that my social behavior may seem somewhat unrehearsed.
Another page,
A sullen rage,
And I’ll be back to my normal self.

And I’m finally happy…happy… independently happy…

So I drive to the edge of my considerate plain.
I apologize to the people I hurt on the way.
I wipe the slate clean
I kick the daydream,
And remain independently happy.

I’m finally happy…happy… independently happy…

03. James

Kneel down
Close your eyes
Hit the ground
I want you to, to kneel all day
Alone in this desolate cave
So I said
Scream if you want to
Cause no one is around
I want you to
To scream all day
Cause there’s eleven words that I’ve rehearsed to say

And I say
James, oh how I love
How I love to hate you!

You’re
Not so brave
When I’m the snake
And you’re my prey
Let me tell you I’ll eat all day
Alone in this desolate cave
So I say
Squeal if you want to
Cause no
No one is around
I want you to
To squeal all day
Cause there’s eleven words that I’ve rehearsed to say

And I say
James, oh how I love
How I love to hate you!

James, how I love to hate you
Oh, how I love
God, I love to hate you…

04. HRSA (High Risk Self Abuse)

Committed at twenty two
Just to get over you
My belly aches blue
Lorazepam flu
I’m down for the count
Always three times a day
Sometimes four
A bee stings straight through the arm
The high swing I ride upon
My eyes can’t quite focus on
The nurse with my Lucky Charms
Well a two step was just a laugh
Our boundaries were broke in half
It’s a good thing to know
As you walk into group for the show

Knock-knock on the window pane
My smoke break, the hour rang
My quiet roommate sleeps the same
Woke up when dinner came
The man’s no more than forty old
He arrived scared two days ago
He had a family of earth and gold
But still nonetheless alone
I learned quick. Knew what to say
Then three angels walked my way
In Spanish tongue they knelt to pray
And said “God keep him safe
From screaming voices”
They became my family
outstretched their hands are on my head
Now I can feel them breathing
They actually knelt down and prayed for me
They actually knelt down and prayed for me

Don’t you dare put me on H.R.S.A
Does self abuse extend your hospital stay?
I think I’ll lie a bit
Lord, I won’t cry over anything
Over anything at all
I won’t cry over anything at all

05. Breakfast After Ten

White kitchen walls with a thousand windows
Turn on Winston in the den
And I’m still asleep but I can hear the piano
When you make breakfast after 10
And I smell the coffee on your fingers
I still smell the perfume in the bed
The crushed linen roses on everything
And you’re still inside my head

You gotta make her know how it feels to miss you
Let her know you’re swapping sides
You’re not the one with all the problems
You’re the one with all the pride

So just pick your head up boy, and
Walk away
Walk the coolest walk that you know
Cause in a month or two she’ll call you
You gotta hang up the phone

I hope she knows I’ve got this memory
That won’t ever seem to break or bend
A thick lock & sheet rock is on my windows in the kitchen
I don’t think I’ll ever take ‘em down again

And I’ve learned a lot from all these break ups and make ups
And fuck ups and fake ups
Things that I wish you could comprehend, yeah comprehend
But for now I’ll lace up
These wing tip shoes, boys
And I’ll go have breakfast with my good friends

You got to make her know how it feels to miss you
You got to let her know you’re swapping sides
You’re not the one with all the problems
You’re the one with all the pride

You got to make her know how it feels to miss you
Let her know you’re swapping spit
You’re not the one with all the problems
She’s the one that’s full of shit

So just pick your head up, boys and
Walk away
Walk the coolest walk that you know
In a month or two she’ll call you
You got to
Hang up the phone…

06. Balance Beam

I haven’t been quite the same
So sure the story of my life would never change
In a bright eyed way
Rinsed out the soap in my eyes and wrote a song that I’m about to sing
It’s about a girl that I hardly even know
It’s not another love song
Just a list of things that I should know
Every man should know that…

One: You’ve got to take it kind of slowly
Two: You’ve got to hurry up and make your move
Three: You’ve got to tell her that she’s pretty
Four: You’ve got to be the perfect gentleman
When you shake the walls, you’ve got to make ‘em bend
Yeah you’ve got to show her that she’s the balance beam
And I keep falling all around her fairy tale

We took a walk in the rain
My suggestion, she requested
The park nearby to cast the shade
Stay cool but I’m giddy like a school boy
You’ve got to handle with care this is not a toy
Gradually we touched
Although our clothes were wet
We sat and smiled
I never thought I’d smile so much
The first kiss always says the most

One: You’ve got to take it kind of slowly
Two: You’ve got to hurry up and make your move
Three: You’ve got to tell her that she’s pretty
Four: You’ve got to be the perfect gentleman
When you shake the walls, you’ve got to make ‘em bend
Yeah you’ve got to show her that she’s the balance beam
And I keep falling all around her fairy tale

Everyone should know that

One: You’ve got to take it kind of slowly
Two: You’ve got to hurry up and make your move
Three: You’ve got to tell her that she’s pretty
Four: You’ve got to be the perfect gentleman
When you shake the walls, you’ve got to make ‘em bend
Yeah you’ve got to show her that she’s pretty
She’s so pretty
You’re the balance beam
And I keep falling all around this fairy tale
OO this fairy tale OO this fairy tale
Some kind of fairy tale. Some kind of fairy tale.

Everyone should know that.

07. Holler

When you holler baby
When you holler at me
What you want me to be
When you holler baby
When you holler at me
What you want me to

I won’t be strong
I won’t be brave
I’ll never stay, cause you don’t treat me the right way
I won’t be part
In this drawn out game
I’ll never stay, cause you don’t treat me the right way

You’re holding my back against the sunshine
You might not think its over but it’s over for me
I need your reflection like a thin line
You might not think its over but it’s over for

I won’t be strong and I won’t be brave
I never stay
Because you don’t treat me the right way
I won’t be apart of this drawn out game
I never stay
Because you don’t treat me the right way

You don’t treat me the right way

I won’t be strong and I won’t be brave
I never stay
Because you don’t treat me the right way
I won’t be apart of this drawn out game
I never stay
Because you don’t treat me the right way

I won’t be strong
I won’t be brave
I’ll never stay, cause you don’t treat me the right way
I won’t be harmed
In this drawn out game
I’ll never stay, cause you don’t treat me the right way

Ya don’t treat me the right way

08. Schizophrenia

A silver plated numbing gum
And Jesus resting on my thumb
A hard to reach malaria
I’ve got the mood that seems to scare ya.
I’m paranoid, self destroyed.
Believe me Lord I’m sorry
I’ve got the mood that seems to bury ya
I’ve got the nightmare called…
Schizophrenia

I cry. I cry and I don’t know why.
The fever becomes my home.
I cry. I cry and I don’t know why.
The fever becomes my home.
Becomes my home.
Becomes mine.

I love it when you’re holding me.
You have a gentle way of calming.
I haven’t felt that way since 1993,
When my mother held me.
I bet you’re waiting for a long sob story
Of how I was mistreated again.
No, I wasn’t built that way.
I was strong but desperately brave,
And I didn’t mean to scare ya…
Schizophrenia.

I cry. I cry and I don’t know why.
The fever becomes my home.
I cry. I cry and I don’t know why.
The fever becomes my home.
Becomes my home.
Becomes mine.
My home…It’s my home.

09. Drop

I touch the tongue to see
A devil’s face in front of me
You blow your nose and cry
The clown demands a sad good-bye
A sad good-bye.

Black below the tree
White horses dead in front of me
I said man…in front of me
A scar below the cheek
Where there’s a sweaty man with a bloody sink.

This is not a way to ease your pain
You listen for the way to ease your pain
I think its really time to ease you
Self help…Tell another shrink the same damn thing
Stay cool, everything is going to be okay
Until you decide to drop again
Until you decide to drop again

A blue jean girl to be
And the sweaty man is behind the trees

The flip side of sanity is the game
Fourteen million miles away from sane
The dark man in the restroom window pane
Whose words just pour out human pain.

This is not a way to ease your pain
You listen for the way to ease your pain
I think its really time to ease you
Self help…Tell another shrink the same thing
Stay cool, everything is going to be okay
Until you decide to drop again
Until you decide to drop again

Now I’m so high, so high.
So I, so I decide
Until you decide to drop again
A carnival ride-through trip again

It’s just a trip not a way to ease your pain
Self help…Tell another shrink the same damn thing
Until you decide to drop again

10. Conversation Via Radio (Do You Ever Wonder)

You must be broken
By a thousand ways of wasting time
Get to the point
And off a hundred lines a week
No need to change my mind
A cleaner shade of thinking time
But I seem to think more than I act upon most things.

Do you ever wonder
How hard you hit?
You broke my thunder
Do you ever wonder?

A scar was sewn
A drop of blood was saved for making wine
Still no repent
On how you crumble when I shake
A mental jaw was used
To pry me from this wrecking bond
The sad detail is all the promises I make.

Do you ever wonder
How hard you hit?
You broke my thunder
Do you ever wonder?

I’m cramped and crawling from under the dead
I’m sick of living without you in bed
I’ve made mistakes that I wrote… That I read…
But now I just can’t seem to be preoccupied
The heart was tossed with a black lace chain
With these hands that I write with
And the ode that I live by…
I will never be with you.

Do you ever wonder
How hard you hit?
You broke my thunder
Do you ever wonder?

God made this night for me, a silly devil in my talking
Romantic company for walking. Over and out…Over and out…
This year is the year I write to be, that silly devil in me talking
Romantic company for walking. Over and out…Over and out…

Do you ever wonder
How hard you hit?
You broke my thunder
Do you ever wonder?

11. Angel

I’m wishing the bath water clean
She hides in the back and is unseen
I take off the mask that surrounds me
Look me in the face
What do you see
I feel like a boy the age of 13
My body grows up
But my mind stays the same
Look me in the face
What do you see?

How do you tell an angel
That you don’t believe in God?
Why do I feel
Like such a stranger
I look around and all my friends are gone

Would you be me?
Cause I would be you
You’d be happy
Only if you wanted to
And how would you trade me?
Cause I would trade you
Oh you’d be happy
Only if you wanted to

How do you tell your Father,
That you want him to notice you?
Why does this seem like such a bother?
When mom says he’d be better off dead
But I want to see you
Dad, I want to see you
Oh would you call me?
Oh it’s not hard to
I’m the first one
That you gave birth to
And oh would you write me
On my birthday
Graduation was yesterday

How do you hold the special victim?
When they push you away
When they’ve been
Raped on the inside
Torn on the outside
The dirt and ugly from
the stain that they try to hide
Touched in private places
Embarrassed faces
To scared to ask for help…Why?

Oh would you be me?
Because I would be you
Oh you’d be happy
Only if you wanted to
And oh would you trade me?
Because I would trade you
You’d be happy
Only if you wanted to

I’m wishing the bath water clean
She hides in the back and is unseen
I take off the mask that surrounds me
Look me in the face
What do you see?

12. Libby I'm Listening

Inner-tube sunset
With a kiss and a cigarette
You’re better than any midnight sex
I can’t stop cause you feel too good
I won’t stop but I know I should
Believe me I’m not always on a serious side.

Cause I can make you laugh, if he makes you scream
If he breaks you, tell me everything
Here we are alone again
Libby I’m listening
I can make you laugh, if he makes you scream
If he breaks you, tell me everything
Here we are alone again
Libby I’m listening

It’s hard to fill the empty space
When they’re your prayers
Your love, your fucking grace
Closed eyed sleeping face to face
Sweet girl with such a tender taste

Cause I can make you laugh, if he makes you scream
If he breaks you, tell me everything
Cause here we are alone again
Libby I’m listening
I can make you laugh, if he makes you scream
If he breaks you, tell me everything
Cause here we are alone again
Libby I’m listening

Libby, I just want to, listen to you…please!

Cause I can make you laugh, if he makes you scream
If he breaks you, tell me everything
Cause here we are alone again
Libby I’m listening
I can make you laugh, if he makes you scream
If he breaks you, tell me everything
Cause here we are alone again
Libby I’m listening

Libby I’m…Libby I’m listening to you.
Libby Un…Libby unwind.
Libby I’m…Libby I’m listening to you.
Libby Un…Libby Unwind.

13. Amnesia

Trampoline
Baby, I’m your
Trampoline
Oh you jump so hard but I always catch your fall
So then I’ll hang us on the wall
Hide away (you know I think I will)
Hide away
Oh, I run so fast but I always lose them all

I wish I could go to sleep and wake up with amnesia
And try to forget the things I’ve done
I wish I knew how to keep the promises that I made you
But life I guess it goes on
Yeah I know it goes on
You see I’ve learned it goes on

But then I’ll hang us on the wall
And I’ll crawl in the open side
And I’m blind to it all
So why don’t you
Crawl in my open side and become blind to it all

Time to pray
You know I think it’s time to pray
For the contortion, my abortion
That I somehow shoved away
I think it’s right for me (that decision was right for me)
When I was young I was stung
And I somehow lost God’s faith

I wish I could go to sleep and wake up with amnesia
And try to forget the things that I’ve done
I wish I knew how to keep the promises that I made you
Life I guess goes on
Yeah I know it goes on
You see I’ve learned it goes on

Then I’ll hang us on the wall
And I’ll crawl in the open side
And I’m blind to it all
So why don’t you
Crawl in my open side and become blind to it all

Way back when I must have sinned
I break down profound, beginning, end
Head trip re-grip what doesn’t mend
But I’m wishing this amnesia would kick in

Way back when I must have sinned
I break down profound, beginning, end
Head trip re-grip what doesn’t mend
But I’m wishing this amnesia would kick in

14. The Answer

If I can’t crawl inside of you,
I’m laughing with a broken face
I stumble across my self esteem.
But to picture the pleasure is making me want my space.

Understand…
That God wrapped you like a bow.
But in my head…
There’s some shelves that need cleaning,
from basement to ceiling, control.

If what you’re seeing is an open book,
That’s great ‘cause I’m an open book.
But I’m real shy.

There’s a part of me seeking
And desperately needing to open up.
That’s strange ‘cause I’m an open book,
a confused boy.

I’m an automatic steeple
For depressed and lonely people.
My heart while in its cage,
Give and not receive a thing,
But the only funny thing is that
I don’t know how to give myself advice.

I’ve got this post dramatic thing
I’ve got this tattoo of a ring that lies
Around my wedding finger and
That’s where I want to state this claim.
That I’ve got to learn to live and dream
Before I go and get myself in love.

In love.

Before, before, before I go and get myself in love

There’s Zoloft, Welbutrin,
There’s Paxil that’s proven, no side effects.
But the rest left unnamed
‘Cause they worked like a charm on me.

But when your savings is drying,
You can’t stop from crying
You’ve got to suck it up.
You’re not her buttercup,
You’re not her favorite book.

And I am an automatic steeple
For depressed and lonely people.
My heart while in its cage,
Give and not receive a thing,
But the only funny thing is that
I don’t know how to give myself advice.

I’ve got this post dramatic thing
I’ve got this tattoo of a ring that lies
Around my wedding finger and that’s where I want to state this claim.
That I’ve got to learn to live and dream
Before I go and get myself in love.

In love.

Before, before, before I go and get myself in love